#Sexy cover models and a writer's rant

Have you been scarred for life yet? No? Then obviously you haven't been searching through millions of photos for the perfect cover model. Seriously. It's a nightmare. You would think this would be the highlight of an author's day. Sexy cover models as far as the eye can see, and hours of staring at men whose bodies are unnaturally unfair to every other man in the world. Sounds like a yummy dreamland, doesn't it? It's really not. Have you ever noticed it's always the same models on every cover? There's not a shortage. I assure you. The problem is, most models make the same mistakes, and it's turning us off. Therefore, after days and days of wasting my time searching for the perfect cover, I've decided to offer some advice to aspiring cover models.

Let me start by saying, you're delicious. Honestly. You make my day brighter and my computer screen cleaner.

But...if you want to see your image splashed across every book cover, here's what author's need:

1.) Stop looking at the camera!! We're not looking for a picture for our mantel. Yes. You're beautiful, but we need the emotion.

2.) Are you thinking, my momma told me not to let people touch me there? Because, that's what a lot of your faces are saying. Don't do that. Once again, we need the emotion. 

Are you kissing someone? Mean it. Are you holding up your shirt so we can see your abs? Quit looking at the camera smiling. That's a pic for your momma. We want to entice people, draw them in, and sell our story in a glance. If you can give us emotion, we will eat you up. From erotica authors everywhere, go forth and turn us on!